Chou san!

I was 2573 kilometers away at Hong Kong for the past 5 days.

Merry Christmas! I am back!

Tonight is emo night.

Everybody is having a bad night.

Now i need to worry about waking up at 7am.

Damn.

Love actually.

“It always fascinated me how people go from loving you madly to nothing at all, nothing. It hurts so much. When I feel someone is going to leave me, I have a tendency to break up first before I get to hear the whole thing. Here it is. One more, one less. Another wasted love story. I really love this one. When I think that its over, that I’ll never see him again like this… well yes, I’ll bump into him, we’ll meet our new boyfriend and girlfriend, act as if we had never been together, then we’ll slowly think of each other less and less until we forget each other completely. Almost. Always the same for me. Break up, break down. Drunk up, fool around. Meet one guy, then another, fuck around. Forget the one and only. Then after a few months of total emptiness start again to look for true love, desperately look everywhere and after two years of loneliness meet a new love and swear it is the one, until that one is gone as well. There’s a moment in life where you can’t recover any more from another break-up. And even if this person bugs you sixty percent of the time, well you still can’t live without him. And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well you love his sneezes more than anyone else’s kisses.”
- Two Days In Paris

I got this from Atee's blog. I do visit alright! =)

Pain. Longing. Desperation. Loneliness. Cravings. They come overwhelmingly together as a blow. And yet when you think you have finally gotten over, it comes like a kick in the stomach. And the timings are never good, such as a late night when you are lying on your bed unable to sleep or sitting on the bus with your head on the window on a particular rainy day with nothing to do. Or like today which is a combination of both with my bed and the rain.

Pain is eternal but love is temporary.

Why? Cause no love last eternally. Love blossoms in the begining but leads to acceptance and lastly accommodation in the true passage of marriage. All humans get tired of a same constant. We get tired of the whims and the flimsy state of the relationship. All humans seek thrill and excitement. Sex it seems isn't all that satisfying and mysterious. After banging that same stud or goddess for a year, you come to realise: "that's it?". Everybody after all, has their limitations or flaws.

*laughs bitterly*

We cling on to the furs' of the rabbit who was pulled out of the hat by the magician. Only a select few dare to climb up to seek what's beyond the hat, to ask questions, to shout out to those who desperately cling on to the middle of the fur, even burrowing themselves deeper, content for the rest of their lives down below.

I really have no idea where this is going. Or what is my point. I guess it's just a collections of thoughts, paragraph by paragraph.

My brain doesn't think straight, it seems.

What online friend are you?

How can one not have absolutely anybody to talk to. That is one question i habitually ask myself.

Is it because one is boring?

Or one is plain outright ugly.

*Scoffs*

But maybe its because there just isn't any need to talk at all. When two acquaintances strike up a online conversation, it usually runs its course past the mundane questions before fizzling out to boredom and slience.
It is definately easier to stop a conversation online. One just needs to stop responding to the repeated appearance of "hello? you there?" and the irritating shakes of nudges and to end it all up, go offline!

Easy.

So what is keeping that person from deleting 95% of his IM buddy list? After all, we only speak to a select few on a regular basis. The rest are just mere acquaintances and third degree friends. But having a long buddy list is important to the individual. It helps delude the mind and boost esteem that one is popular and has a large social circle. As such, one will actively try to engage and strike up conversations to be pathetically sociable to strangers that barely interact with the individual.

Truth as it seems, is always less rosy.

How to we improve the situation then. Firing off conversation windows and aggressively PMing everyone that comes online immediately will just make people avoid or worst, block oneself. There must be common interest for the stranger to be on the IM buddy list, be it a camp or post-drunk/clubbing activity. The key foothold is to build on that interest and branch out to other topics like " Is boxers or briefs better? " or " Name your poison. I like my Chivas neat. " Topics on "friends girlfriends" or "bdsm desires" are best left for a later timing when a stronger relationship exist. Being too pushy or mindlessly responding/throwing out dumb one answer questions will not help either.

Maybe I do need to defragment my IM buddy list into two list.
" Who talks to me " and " Everybody else ".

Bronze spoon in my mouth.

Why oh why. Money makes the world spin. Makes people grin from ear to ear. Causes humans to commit genocide and yet helps the Aids problem in the world. Helps that orphan celebrate his best christmas ever with presents. Creates the opportunity for education.

Why does that DSLR look so expensive. Sigh.