Well hudha. I really didnt expect that blog entry. Actually, i nv really expected anyone to write or even bother bout me? xcept for dear Rachie chen lol. Hell..even moi ex-gf didnt give 2-hoots bout me or even such a lengthy entry!

Irony isnt it? I tend to see things as an optimist. But am pulled back down by pessimistic thinking. Go figure. Cos i can't. Guess i kinda have the same concept as Aurelia. Lets hope she doesnt see this...:P

Standing up and facing the world is one thing. Finding out who you really are is another. Facing the world is easy. Just put on the fake smile, step out that door, and wave to everyone you see. result: Friendly warmth and socialble person. In truth? who knows. Its all a facade. A sham. And when u be yourself amongst your most trusted people? you still get brought down by scathing and snide remarks. So it results to the point of you don't even know who to become anymore.

I guess i kinda know my flaws and my strenghts. But its just that whatever i do in life, its the flaws that come through. Never the strenghts. I guess the optimism comes out through my mouth and goes back in pessimistically thru my arse... Sighz...I just wanna do something that I, Myself, thyself, Ownself, Self-self, can be proud of. I guess this is the time to knock Alvin's head and scream at him "Go DO IT LAH!" Hmm..my green wall looks inviting..

Gosh i sure am lonely.

Everyone tells me its alright. Its over. Don't think about it.







But its not.
Its not alright when u hand in a crappy piece of work which u had a chance to make it right.

Its not over when it comes around and bites u in the arse when u realised u have nothing but crap for your showreel.

I can't STOP thinking abt something which i am absolutely not happy about.

Feeling sorry for oneself just doesn't cut it. Its more like....a more low and dark feeling. A feeling that would make you yell at ur girlfriend or just give "the" face to your mum and friends. Makes you question alot of things. Like why am i here? Is this what i was meant to do? Why do i suck at stuff i do?

Maybe the only thing that was meant for me to do is...nothing...