The Perverse Guide to Sun Signs


ARIES (Mar23-Apr22)
You have a wild imagination and often think you
are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have
minor influence on your friends and people
resent you for flaunting your power. You lack
confidence and are a general dipshit.

TAURUS (Apr23-May22)
You are practical and persistent. You have a
dogged determination and work like hell. Most
people think you are stubborn and bullheaded.
You're nothing but a damned communist.

GEMINI (May23-Jun22)
You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People
like you because you are bisexual. You are
inclined to expect too much for too little. This
means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are
notorious for thriving on incest.

CANCER (Jun23-Jul22)
You are sympathetic and understanding to other
people's problems, which makes you a sucker. You
are always putting things off. That is why you
will always be on welfare and won't be worth a
shit. Everyone in prison is a Cancer.

LEO (Jul23-Aug22)
You consider yourself a born leader. Others
think you are an idiot. Most Leos are bullies.
You are vain and cannot tolerate criticism. Your
arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving
motherf*ers and enjoy masturbation more than
sex.

VIRGO (Aug23-Sep22)
You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your
shit-picking attitude is sickening to your
family, friends and co-workers. You are cold and
unemotional and ofter fall asleep while f*ing.
Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

LIBRA (Sep23-Oct22)
You are the artistic type and have a difficult
time dealing with reality. If you are male, you
are probably queer. Chances for employment and
monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are
whores. All Libras die of Venereal Diseases.

SCORPIO (Oct22-Nov22)
You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in
business and cannot be trusted. You shall
achieve the pinnacle of success because of your
total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-
a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov23-Dec22)
You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a
reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you
have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are
drunks. You are a worthless piece of shit.

CAPRICORN (Dec23-Jan22)
You are conservative and afraid of taking risks.
You are basically chickenshit. There has never
been a Capricorn of any importance. You should
kill yourself.

AQUARIUS (Jan 23-Feb22)
You have an intuitive mind and are inclined to
be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make
the same mistakes repeatedly because you are
stupid. Everyone thinks you are a f*king
asshole.

PISCES (Feb23-Mar22)
You are a pioneer type and think most people are
dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient
and full of advice. You do nothing but piss off
everyone you come in contact with. You are a
prick.


LOL....well...i finally got my new com..though no net yet...so...HeH..;)