Gosh i am so damn slpy! 2pm on a friday afternoon at work. Lolx.
Yes people..i am on attachment...work so far...well its been pretty fun, if not slack..on top of the fact that my boss is leaving for japan..."workless/underdeamning" days ahead of me i forsee..and that is NOT GOOD. I truly am interested to learn from the gosus and pros...i had a small taste on a day's of shooting and am hungry for more! oh well...lets hope there is something for me to learn...

Well shooting is...fun. Haha..though all the stress and mass homework u gotta put in before and after...its the "Actual" filming that i truly enjoy and strife on...Although i don't look at myself as the nxt royston tan in the making, maybe someday...lolx..
*slaps face* "wake up ALvin! At the current grades u are going to end up making Mariache movies for the spannish video market!"

Bah...what matters is the passion...well..time to find that passion. LOL.

I aint ready. Sorry for taking so long but yea...some distance wld be good.. layering the hole with pretty dang good cement but its not finished..Ah well..it still needs time to dry.

Pretty sappy entries of late huh..Cant help it i guess...Its always the time and surrounding that makes me pretty moody i guess..Plus life is pretty flat line now.

THERE IS NO ENTERTAINMENT in my hse watsoever. Bored out of my freaking mind...PS2 going home today, Com's down(besides net), no new movies. Guess this explains y i spend so much time at my second home. Not good. Shall cut dwn...Dun wanna become like another freeloader by the name of "Gabriel". :P

I need a camcorder. Have so many ideas in my head that doesnt seem right just to use the huge cam for...Cannes! here i come! lolx. Shall wait for my 2nd mth paycheck i guess...First mth's shall go towards the fucking com that has bugged me for eons... Cant even use photoshop. Now that is a pain.

Ok this is mindless ranting. haha..I shall go swim tml morning. Like 800 before work! Embark on my healthy lifestyle mission and keep my mind of the other demons like depression and nagging need for companionship.

Well hudha. I really didnt expect that blog entry. Actually, i nv really expected anyone to write or even bother bout me? xcept for dear Rachie chen lol. Hell..even moi ex-gf didnt give 2-hoots bout me or even such a lengthy entry!

Irony isnt it? I tend to see things as an optimist. But am pulled back down by pessimistic thinking. Go figure. Cos i can't. Guess i kinda have the same concept as Aurelia. Lets hope she doesnt see this...:P

Standing up and facing the world is one thing. Finding out who you really are is another. Facing the world is easy. Just put on the fake smile, step out that door, and wave to everyone you see. result: Friendly warmth and socialble person. In truth? who knows. Its all a facade. A sham. And when u be yourself amongst your most trusted people? you still get brought down by scathing and snide remarks. So it results to the point of you don't even know who to become anymore.

I guess i kinda know my flaws and my strenghts. But its just that whatever i do in life, its the flaws that come through. Never the strenghts. I guess the optimism comes out through my mouth and goes back in pessimistically thru my arse... Sighz...I just wanna do something that I, Myself, thyself, Ownself, Self-self, can be proud of. I guess this is the time to knock Alvin's head and scream at him "Go DO IT LAH!" Hmm..my green wall looks inviting..

Gosh i sure am lonely.

Everyone tells me its alright. Its over. Don't think about it.







But its not.
Its not alright when u hand in a crappy piece of work which u had a chance to make it right.

Its not over when it comes around and bites u in the arse when u realised u have nothing but crap for your showreel.

I can't STOP thinking abt something which i am absolutely not happy about.

Feeling sorry for oneself just doesn't cut it. Its more like....a more low and dark feeling. A feeling that would make you yell at ur girlfriend or just give "the" face to your mum and friends. Makes you question alot of things. Like why am i here? Is this what i was meant to do? Why do i suck at stuff i do?

Maybe the only thing that was meant for me to do is...nothing...

well..the page has turned and the only thing that greets me is a blank hard book cover. As i frantically try to look for words or even a page no, it dawns on me that its finished. No amt of peering or squinting will make any words jump out from that blank piece of embossed cover. A bitter feeling comes to mind. When the book as so deliciously tantalizing and so ever fulfiling comes to an end, U cant help but lambast and berate yourself for not seeing it coming.

I guess the only thing to do now is put the book down and skive off reading for awhile. Xcept...if there might be another book that i might be interested to read comes along?

I will gladly pick that book up with a cuppa tea and all the eagerness in the world.

Till then? I can only sit forlornly by my window and watch the clouds go by.



Its 4am. I have to film my short film later. Fuck.







Ah well..at least i will be early for my sunrise shoot!

"Storm's coming Ani, better get indoors"
Whoever can guess where this came from gets a ice cream treat from me!

i dont think u care
about all my flowers and candy
about all my love and sweet kisses
cause tonight's the night
I will burn all those memories
till they turn to dust
I dont think u care
that i cry your eyes red
cause today's the day

Your hand breaks free of mine
and i walk alone down this path
do i think u care?
cause really, i dont.

Go figure. because i never understood.

I did compose a short song for you.

Lets hear it before i destroy it.

When the dark clouds come,
and there's no safe place.
Don't be scared, cos here i am, to chase them away.

Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful Rachel....
Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful...Beautiful Rachel.....

As you sleep at night,
feeling cold and scared.
Here i am, to hold your head, in my arms.

Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful Rachel....
Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful...Beautiful Rachel.....

When the sun comes up,
so does your huge smile.
Big and wide, warm and nice, like your heart.

Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful Rachel....
Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful...Beautiful Rachel.....

Relationships are the least priority in my life.

I cried for you once. I shall not do so again.



Once again, happy 19th Bdae Alvin Foong.

Words cannot express what i am feeling now.
To say its indescrible wld be a lie as no feeling is indescrible. But rather, its made up of many feelings that are mixed in a melting hot pot.All these feelings mixed together, complied with the constant stirring to blend everything.
The result? A rather blank expression on the face but a contortion of facts, feelings and hungriness within.
Read between the lines and u wld find not only 1 line but a tangible mess of messy broken lines flowing out from within.
Seeking solitude hasnt done much good at all. Solace in bliss turned out to be an unleashment of the vile and vicious creature. The Mind. It just gnaws and tears out your concience. It even bares open your essense of life so much so that even the slightest reason to smile just goes right out the window.

Negative withdrawal just fills you faster then you could say "gramaphone".

It filled me. Happy bdae 19th Alvin.

RAWR!!! seems that it is another case of i typed out everything and IE crashes...lolx
well..recap..sorrie for the "2 times per mth" blogging frequency guys..haha
always having mind blocks everytime this posting page loads up. I just realised that for the first time in my life, i can see the unsurmountable pile of work that lays in front of me. And what would sum describe as a virgin experience, i am going to do Pre-Production work..(before work "work") yes my friends..i am going to DO tt...

Am a slacker, Always a slacker, Die a slacker.
Alvin Foong 2005

Bright sunny day with a soccer appointment which i am supposed to go..i really really REALLY shld start exercising..i guess i dont really like doing that alone..its so..boring? ha..exercising shld be fun i reckon..not just..i go down to swim 20 laps and go home! tt plain sucks if u ask me...(sorrie cel) lolx...

Another fact i learned from FHM mag this mth..Atoms living in us? 1 of them would proberly belonged to a famous being...say, Einstein, Shakespeare etc...haha! Maybe tts y i am blogging..my shakespearean atom is acting up again!

Shall be going back to do hsehold chores which i had abandoned (think dusty vacuum cleaner on the floor and a leaf floats by) for the greater pleasures of blogging and the electrifying warmth that i get when i type out this words...tata!

well..a week has past.Today's class was different. We learnt acting. And not just norm acting, but acting from the grand mastro himself Lim Yu Beng! yea..pretty kewl chap with a hearty laugh and a american accent with singaporean twangled inbetween..lol..Acting is..kinda fun i guess? being able to bring out emotions and potray them in ur own individualistic way that no one can ever replicate.

But if u ask me? i feel that acting, though artistic, is a huge lie. Actors are just fake personas that just bluff out their scenes. Most of them would never experienced what they are acting maybe for 5 lifetimes! haha...in turn, the audience gets misled by the real thing and then relate to: "we can nv understand them!" e.g..psychos, murderers etc...shame though...it was great fun having acting class! maybe i wld sign up and discover what is true acting!

past week has been crap. Suddenly realised i am not the "listener" i used to be. Forgetting people, the things that are impt to them, even neglacting resposibilities i have to uphold and do. Pretty fucked u might say...plus all the work i have to hand up TML, THE NEXT DAY, AND THE NeXT neXT DAY. This 3 days is gonna be a pretty rough ride. I am getting close to breaking point, and i havent even started!
*augish wail*

Just wanna lie down on a nice British grassy field and look into the endless cloudy infinite sky. (yes they do have it there and its FUCKING nice...the particular field that i lied on was at Shakespeare's cottage.) oh yes...Rach must be beside me too! hehx..