Its really funny when you see a caucasian man speeding past you, standing on his bike whilst riding, cuts through 4 lanes, and right into his office carpark. All in the span of 5s. I was like. LOL.

Here i am in office. Bleary-eyed,still feeling for my bolster,listening to the damn britney spears on radio,having a dang headache. Welcome to a day of work.

Pain is an illusion of the senses. Despair an illusion of the mind.

Ok.
Step one: Go pls.

http://www.starhub.com/cabletv/promotionsandevents/eCity/

Step two: VOTE pls. "buggers"

Step three: Repeat the following steps as many times as possible.

haha thanks for doing this...i am ASSUMING u did. Its done by me and 4 fellows malay brothers.. The voted team might get cash so..do ourselves and favour by helping me ya? LOL. THANKS AGAIN. (i am still assuming.)

FUCK MY FUCKING ROUTER.......FUCK FUCK FUCK.
ok. I HAD to get that off my chest..lest the neighbours think i go mad or something..This past few days have resulted in me being a jerkass and all..sorry u. Sorry for all the worry and slpness nights i caused u. i kinda sorted out my thinking. And yea. It was painful. Guess it was the companionship that i really craved. having only U as my ONLY sms bud, phone bud and talking bud really sums up everything..I seriously dont talk to anyone xcept u. Not that i am scaring u or anything.

Its fucked really. I am just sick of taking the intiative. Let people call if they want to find me. Let people call if they want to talk. I am always the "chap" whu remembers and gives ppl gifts. I dont see them coming back. I nv see people sharing things with me while i am always offering. I hate calling people and see my phone silent a whole damn day. More like everyday.

Fuck this.
From now on, If people remember me? Gd for me.

shit. my mind's a blank. You dont wake up and read messenges like that at 340 in the morning. Nw i cant slp.

I cried for 2 women in my life. You were the third.

L.O.S.T.

Go watch it. I am for once. Speechless.

Gosh i am so damn slpy! 2pm on a friday afternoon at work. Lolx.
Yes people..i am on attachment...work so far...well its been pretty fun, if not slack..on top of the fact that my boss is leaving for japan..."workless/underdeamning" days ahead of me i forsee..and that is NOT GOOD. I truly am interested to learn from the gosus and pros...i had a small taste on a day's of shooting and am hungry for more! oh well...lets hope there is something for me to learn...

Well shooting is...fun. Haha..though all the stress and mass homework u gotta put in before and after...its the "Actual" filming that i truly enjoy and strife on...Although i don't look at myself as the nxt royston tan in the making, maybe someday...lolx..
*slaps face* "wake up ALvin! At the current grades u are going to end up making Mariache movies for the spannish video market!"

Bah...what matters is the passion...well..time to find that passion. LOL.

I aint ready. Sorry for taking so long but yea...some distance wld be good.. layering the hole with pretty dang good cement but its not finished..Ah well..it still needs time to dry.

Pretty sappy entries of late huh..Cant help it i guess...Its always the time and surrounding that makes me pretty moody i guess..Plus life is pretty flat line now.

THERE IS NO ENTERTAINMENT in my hse watsoever. Bored out of my freaking mind...PS2 going home today, Com's down(besides net), no new movies. Guess this explains y i spend so much time at my second home. Not good. Shall cut dwn...Dun wanna become like another freeloader by the name of "Gabriel". :P

I need a camcorder. Have so many ideas in my head that doesnt seem right just to use the huge cam for...Cannes! here i come! lolx. Shall wait for my 2nd mth paycheck i guess...First mth's shall go towards the fucking com that has bugged me for eons... Cant even use photoshop. Now that is a pain.

Ok this is mindless ranting. haha..I shall go swim tml morning. Like 800 before work! Embark on my healthy lifestyle mission and keep my mind of the other demons like depression and nagging need for companionship.

Well hudha. I really didnt expect that blog entry. Actually, i nv really expected anyone to write or even bother bout me? xcept for dear Rachie chen lol. Hell..even moi ex-gf didnt give 2-hoots bout me or even such a lengthy entry!

Irony isnt it? I tend to see things as an optimist. But am pulled back down by pessimistic thinking. Go figure. Cos i can't. Guess i kinda have the same concept as Aurelia. Lets hope she doesnt see this...:P

Standing up and facing the world is one thing. Finding out who you really are is another. Facing the world is easy. Just put on the fake smile, step out that door, and wave to everyone you see. result: Friendly warmth and socialble person. In truth? who knows. Its all a facade. A sham. And when u be yourself amongst your most trusted people? you still get brought down by scathing and snide remarks. So it results to the point of you don't even know who to become anymore.

I guess i kinda know my flaws and my strenghts. But its just that whatever i do in life, its the flaws that come through. Never the strenghts. I guess the optimism comes out through my mouth and goes back in pessimistically thru my arse... Sighz...I just wanna do something that I, Myself, thyself, Ownself, Self-self, can be proud of. I guess this is the time to knock Alvin's head and scream at him "Go DO IT LAH!" Hmm..my green wall looks inviting..

Gosh i sure am lonely.

Everyone tells me its alright. Its over. Don't think about it.







But its not.
Its not alright when u hand in a crappy piece of work which u had a chance to make it right.

Its not over when it comes around and bites u in the arse when u realised u have nothing but crap for your showreel.

I can't STOP thinking abt something which i am absolutely not happy about.

Feeling sorry for oneself just doesn't cut it. Its more like....a more low and dark feeling. A feeling that would make you yell at ur girlfriend or just give "the" face to your mum and friends. Makes you question alot of things. Like why am i here? Is this what i was meant to do? Why do i suck at stuff i do?

Maybe the only thing that was meant for me to do is...nothing...